Little Cat in the Big World

This is my last year at the University of Waterloo. After 5 long years of hammering through my degree, I have finally made it to the home stretch. I always imagined that somehow my last year would be the most amazing year ever. I truly thought it would be the year where I would be encouraged to fully engage with the material we were learning, and be intellectually challenged. But to tell you the truth, it’s not like that at all, at least outside of the Beyond Borders program that is (that's not me sucking up - that's the truth!). In all honesty, my entire experience at Waterloo has not been like that in the slightest. In my first three years, I assumed that you needed to learn the basics before you could really engage with the material, so I wasn’t all that concerned about the lack of intellectual stimulation. Instead I just memorized those facts and spewed them out on request; wasting time until my 4th/5th year where I believed things would be different – I would finally be challenged in a way that was designed to foster original thoughts and creativity. Let me tell you, I am still waiting for that to happen. When I was in high school I was a bit of a misfit (not so shocking for those of you who know me, I’m sure) and I was always told by teachers that university would be the place that I would finally fit in. It would be the place where I would get the challenge that I needed and where I would find people who had the same desire and drive for knowledge. And I really did believe that would be true. But now that I am almost done, and I have time to look back on the past 5 years, I feel like it’s been an incredible let down. I was having a discussion with a friend of mine last week, and we were chatting about how regurgitating information on tests can hardly be called learning. And I had said to him, that besides the Beyond Borders class last term, and WS 205 that I took in my fourth year, I literally have learned nothing of value in any of my classes. Many would probably call that an exaggeration, but I don’t think it is. None of my classes have really made me think, or reflect. None of my classes have encouraged me to move outside of my comfort levels. And none of my classes have inspired me. And are these things not what education is about?! In fact this week, in one of my classes (which is mostly discussion based) I found the exact opposite happening. Students were being rewarded for giving superficial answers, rather than discussing the problem fully, and expanding on their understanding of issues of oppression. It was a rather frustrating experience for me, because when I tried to raise a point that the professor didn’t agree with, I was shrugged off as if what I was saying didn’t matter or have any validity (which I would like to point out is fairly contrary to the “personal is political” model that WS always preaches). In any case, while I was certainly being challenged in this class, it was neither my intellect nor my boundaries that were being put to the test – it was my patience. How is any institution supposed to create the best and brightest of our future if we don’t allow anyone to learn and explore new ideas? Over the past couple of years I have learned more from discussions with students in the Women’s Centre or patrons at St. John’s Kitchen then I have from my fancy textbooks and lengthy lectures. So what am I doing here? I realize that the piece of paper I will get at the end of this term will being meaningful in society, but I am having a hard time seeing the value in it. Don’t get me wrong, I value education, quite a bit actually, and I think that is why I am so frustrated. I want to be challenged! And I don’t think that is unreasonable to expect that from an institution of higher learning. Something is definitely wrong if we reward mindless memorization over creativity and ingenuity. The Beyond Borders program has been amazing, and I have a lot of passion and excitement for what we have been doing over the past 6 months, but it’s pretty difficult to find an entire degree program that operates in this manner. I know that realistically for what I want to do after this degree, I will need additional schooling. But if this is the experience I can expect next year, I am not sure that I am all that interested. I remember a time when I used to be really excited about school – where has that intellectual inspiration gone? And how do I get it back?!

-Cat